Helping Myself by Helping Others

When I did community service for the first time I was filled with such a high that left me wanting to tell everyone around me about all the great deeds I accomplished even though it was really just one. Therefore, when I took The Six Human Needs Test I wasn't surprised to see that contribution, at 93%, by far out shot all the rest of my needs including growth at 79%. After seeing my results I began evaluating different aspects to see if my actions really were led by the need to contribute and grow.

After analyzing my reading life, I found that most of the books I have read turn out to be a quest. For example The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger, Midwinter Blood by Murcus Sedgwick, and The Notebook  by Nicholas Sparks are all books that appear to have nothing in common, but in reality they share the same ambitious protagonist. Because of my urge to have growth in every area of my life I choose books that have a character willing to give up everything for what they desire. Once I find these books, although I'm really into them, I tend to read a lot slower because of my desire to become a better reader. In other words as I read each sentence find myself over analyzing each sentence for hidden messages to the point of my reading rate being cut in half. I face this problem especially when I'm reading books that involve a character doing their best to provide for the well being of another like in A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.

The main character, Mariam, always ends up in a position of trying to please others and when she faces a personal loss she finds herself wanting to please the same person who treats her similar to that of a dog. Because of my need to contribute, like Mariam, I stretch myself in all different direction to please the ones I love and make life a little bit more decent for strangers. I even go as far as attempting to get my friends on board with community service and other events. Also I make the mistake of expecting the ones I love to want to contribute to my happiness like I desire to do for them.


Although growth and Contribution seem to always be a good thing, having those needs can lead to the disruption of a peaceful relationship. I found this out the hard way one year I when I went through all the trouble of throwing a surprise party for my friend although nothing was expected of me, but then when my birthday came around I made the mistake of expecting appreciation for what I did earlier and barely got a "Happy Birthday" the next day.